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Kiddie TV

Friday, June 1st, 2012

Have you noticed lately that every kid’s show has either a pizza parlor or smoothie joint or as a part of their plot line? If you answered “no” to the above question consider yourself lucky that you aren’t being tortured by the likes of the Fresh Beat Band. If you answered “yes” then you are in the same boat as us…walking around work humming “It’s a great day…blah blah blah shoot me in the head.” Hopefully, you have a toddler. If not and you just really like Nick Jr., your secret is safe with us. Here is a clip from “The Beats” where they meet Harper the owner of The Singing Pizza Cafe. We aren’t sure how Harper came to own the Singing Pizza Cafe. My theory? Poor Harper with the heart of gold was the only kid who got suckered in to working the family biz after mom and dad retired and moved back home to the Old Country. Meet Harper by clicking the Giant Pizza link.

Giant Pizza

Then of course we have the Bubble Guppies. The Bubble Guppies are mermaid fish like children who live underwater where everything is unaffected BY the water. For instance, planes fly under the water at the underwater airport and fire burns underwater. Whatever, right? Whatever keeps the kid quiet for 25 minutes so you can shit, shower and shave. Enter our daughter’s favorite song….

Bubble Guppies Pizza Pie

Then we have the biggest mystery of them all. The Groovy Smoothie is featured on both iCarly AND Fresh Beat Band. Is this confusing to anyone else? Is it a franchise? If so, where can I get one? Everyone seems so happy after drinking a refreshing smoothie!

As seen in iCarly:

And the Fresh Beat Band:

What’s the moral of the story here folks? Well, obviously if you eat pizza and drink smoothies you will become a well adjusted, healthy, artistic, singing and dancing and possibly fin wearing part of society. Either here on land or underwater.

Final thought: Dear Joss Whedon: When you inevitably bring Buffy back to the big screen, I think she should own a pizza parlor with Spike— across the street from a demon owned smoothie franchise. Just sayin’…….