Friday, June 1st, 2012
Have you noticed lately that every kid’s show has either a pizza parlor or smoothie joint or as a part of their plot line? If you answered “no” to the above question consider yourself lucky that you aren’t being tortured by the likes of the Fresh Beat Band. If you answered “yes” then you are in the same boat as us…walking around work humming “It’s a great day…blah blah blah shoot me in the head.” Hopefully, you have a toddler. If not and you just really like Nick Jr., your secret is safe with us. Here is a clip from “The Beats” where they meet Harper the owner of The Singing Pizza Cafe. We aren’t sure how Harper came to own the Singing Pizza Cafe. My theory? Poor Harper with the heart of gold was the only kid who got suckered in to working the family biz after mom and dad retired and moved back home to the Old Country. Meet Harper by clicking the Giant Pizza link.
Then of course we have the Bubble Guppies. The Bubble Guppies are mermaid fish like children who live underwater where everything is unaffected BY the water. For instance, planes fly under the water at the underwater airport and fire burns underwater. Whatever, right? Whatever keeps the kid quiet for 25 minutes so you can shit, shower and shave. Enter our daughter’s favorite song….
Bubble Guppies Pizza Pie
Then we have the biggest mystery of them all. The Groovy Smoothie is featured on both iCarly AND Fresh Beat Band. Is this confusing to anyone else? Is it a franchise? If so, where can I get one? Everyone seems so happy after drinking a refreshing smoothie!
As seen in iCarly:
And the Fresh Beat Band:
What’s the moral of the story here folks? Well, obviously if you eat pizza and drink smoothies you will become a well adjusted, healthy, artistic, singing and dancing and possibly fin wearing part of society. Either here on land or underwater.
Final thought: Dear Joss Whedon: When you inevitably bring Buffy back to the big screen, I think she should own a pizza parlor with Spike— across the street from a demon owned smoothie franchise. Just sayin’…….
The Baddest Man On Planet Pizza
Wednesday, May 2nd, 2012
Got to love Mike Tyson. Check him out in this Funny or Die clip.
Banking in Warrenland.
Tuesday, April 24th, 2012
Here’s the thing Citizens Bank …you need to put down the Kool-Aid cut the doublespeak and rejoin the ranks of us humans. Listen, we know you don’t want to help your customers but can’t you at least pretend you care? Take me out for a few drinks before you screw me or in the very least COME AND EAT AT MY RESTAURANT. Maybe it’s just too far? I know that walking the 100 feet to make my deposits gives me blisters sometimes. Maybe you just have a bad wheel. Maybe you are just the worst bank in the smallest town in the smaaaaallllest state in the country. Bad feet and small town. No wonder why you are so angry and don’t want to help me. It’s not me, it’s you. I get it.
Now had this been my Skidmore days there would definitely been a great chance of you Citizens Bank convincing me that there are little elves inside the computer that do magical, mysterious things to my funds whilst I sleep….making them positive…making them negative and positive again only to incur your ridiculous fees. Luckily for all of us I got off that magic bus in ‘98 and haven’t been back on since. So yeah, I know Santa isn’t real and I know Jesus’s face isn’t in the wallpaper at the top of the stairs at my parents house (Cory you know what I’m talking about)and I know you are trying to pork me good. Most of all I and the rest of my fellow humans know that when you go to the bank with a check drawn on that bank from your very own bank account and cash it and then immediately deposit that cash (in this case payroll checks) the money comes out and the money goes in. No magic. Just logic. It should be like nothing even happened. Take the money out-put the money in. Not in the twisted world of Citizens Bank though. In CB world where the sky rains LSD jellybeans and everyone has a tummy ache your checks go down down down the rabbit hole where they get small and then big and then small and big and small….you get the picture. This time to the tune of 198.00 in overdraft fees.
Here’s where the story gets good. When I got a call back from the branch manager to address my issue she had “a few questions for you (me)”. lol She needed to go to corporate to ask for the fee rebate and needed to give them a reason that they should do so. Meaning more business. HA! Why don’t we have a line of credit with the bank? What about our personal banking, my family’s business and our first born. You know “$200.00 is a lot of money.” Uh—yeah… that’s kind of why I’m asking for it back… but I digress….your customer service is non existent you have never ever helped me with any issue I may have had in the past, you pretend you don’t know my husband when he goes in to cash his paycheck and you have patronized my business twice in the last two years. No. You can’t have any more of my business until you prove you give one tiny little shit about the business you already have.
At the end of the day we got $78.00 back in fees. I would like to think that knowing the branch manager of a Citizens Bank only has the authority to rebate up to $100.00 that corporate shot her down and so she did what she could do for us to salvage the relationship. But those damn jellybeans just don’t rain over our building here on Main Street and I’m dead sober. So, goodbye Citizens Bank. It’s been real….OR HAS IT?? ~ Christine.
I can only BE me. I can’t SELL me. 4.11.12
Thursday, April 12th, 2012
Owning your own business is sometimes like getting shot in the foot. You aren’t going to die from it, but you are going to lose some blood, hop around like an idiot for a time and scream…a lot. Especially when you are trying to expand your brand. BA-BA-BOOM! AHHHHHHH!!!! You sometimes wonder how these companies with sub par…well let’s be frank…shitty products expand so quickly so fast. Our plan of opening a second (and third and fourth) location in the near future is a major topic of discussion here in the Manzo house. And in the Manzo car, the Manzo restaurant, the Manzo bathroom and Nana and Papa’s Manzo’s house…you get the point.
Billy said something while on the phone tonight with our friend Jen Little that shocked me: “I can only BE me. I can’t SELL me.” Now, this coming from the guy who if he says he is going to do something, he means he is doing it five minutes ago. He isn’t going to email you to tell you he is planning on doing it, he isn’t going to fax you with his plan for doing it…he is just going to do it. Period. And he is going to do it right. I’m not used to hearing the word “can’t” come out of my husband’s mouth. And to be frank, I really don’t believe him. I think it’s just the approach that needs to be tweaked.
So let’s do this already. I think that a traditional approach to raising capital for the next phase of FHP is not going to work….not in this economy. Time to think outside the oven. Meet Steven Schussler: